Testimony Tuesday: Surrendering All, Including Our Understanding of God

Understanding that you’ll never fully understand the ways of God…

Edward Gebel Photography


Top: c/o Romwe (sold out but get it here) ; Jeans: Urban Outfitters (old) ; Shoes: Christian Siriano for Payless

When I drew nearer to God, I felt this unfading pressure to force a transformation within myself. And not only within myself but also externally. I felt a pressure to change my desires, my friends, my dressing, my workplace, my hair, my makeup, my family. And this pressure wasn’t natural, but really, as a result of my environment. I fell in love with everything I thought was holy. I was in church 3-4 times a week. I watched so many sermons and listened only to Gospel music. I also started virtually following other ministries of people and started comparing their walk to mine. There seemed to be a common theme among them all- they all worked in ministry full time. They all married people in the ministry. They all were surrounded by “church” looking people. So I reasoned that in order for me to really be transformed and used by God, I too, had to live this life. I thought it was the only way I’d be in the perfect will of God.

It took reading the Scriptures to understand that this isn’t God’s will for all. Some are called to church ministry, others to something quite different. Some are called to be pastors, others are called to be encouragers. Some are called to marry pastors, others are called to marry prostitutes. Some are called to evangelize, others are called to engineer. The only commonality is that we do all to the glory of God. For some time now, I’ve doubted whether or not my fashion and lifestyle blog was the will of God for my life. I questioned whether I was doing enough. It seemed so vain and contrary to ministry as we often see today. And I fought an internal battle, trying to share the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ and also share fashion and my personal style.

How do I balance “Jesus loves you” with “I love these Christian Louboutin shoes!” 

But God can use anyone, anywhere, at any time for His Glory. And you don’t have to run a church or even be in church to be used. Recall the story of Esther, the young Jewish queen who essentially saved the Jews from extinction. (Please read the Book of Esther). As a result of her faith and boldness in an environment very hostile to God,  the Jews were saved and Jerusalem was restored.  Recall the story of Nehemiah, the cup bearer with a serious burden about the persecution of the Jews. (Please read the book of Nehemiah) Nehemiah was in the king’s palace when he decided to fast and then approach the king to be released from his duties. He wasn’t in a synagogue serving as high priest. He was in the world.

God will never limit His vessels to church grounds or church ministries. Bus drivers, hair stylists, CEOs, taxi drivers, fashion bloggers, and athletes can all be used to advance the Kingdom agenda. So if you work in an environment hostile and against the things of God, think twice before quitting. Maybe you’ve been strategically and divinely placed there for His glory! You just need to surrender your all to Him to be used. And your all includes your limited understanding of His ways!


  1. Debra Amma
    March 13, 2018 / 2:10 pm

    You did it again sis! You are certainly using your gifts and I pray you see the fruits of everything you’re planting! Love it. Thank you for always being transparent. May God continue to bless you and open doors for you to blossom into who he’s destined you to be!

  2. Tinu Abraham
    March 16, 2018 / 9:17 pm

    This so encouraging , thanks for being a light and for being obedient to the will of God for you.

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